Heya! Today I feel a little lonely. I will tell you why I feel that way.
It has been about half a year since I left the work force. I wanted to say since I left flying, but I have not flown for quite long due to safety trainings and academy duties, so it is more of like leaving an office job. And I do reminisce about my job some times.
Back then, I always had people around me. I'll say about 10-12 hours per day, I am surrounded by people. Be it trainees, colleagues, bosses, friends, I get to meet them about 5x in a work week. And when I get home and Boo is off, that will be say, another 3-4 hours of having a human companionship. You might wonder why is my working hour so long? I think I was just in love with what I was doing. And yes, more frequent than not, I am at the academy from 0645-1845.
But nowadays, it is not as easy to get that kind of companionships anymore. Sure, I meet some of my closer friends once a week or so (if I am lucky). And with them being in the aviation industry, it is not easy to find time when everyone is off at the same time. And if Boo is away on layover, it adds salt to the wound.
"Yeah, but you have your bunnies?"
That's true. But they can't talk. Sometimes you want someone to be able to correspond. Hugging and kissing is sorta one sided. They do sniff and lick me at times. But it's different.
It feels good to some times have some one complimenting me. Or looking up to me. Or just giving me attention. I know, it sounds so absurd like, "What? So basically all she wants is the world to revolve around her?" Actually, yes, it feels good to be given attention. Once in a while, we all need that earthy-hug.
When I was training, I had like at least 15 sets of eyes on me. Maybe some of them might not be interested in the topic I was teaching, but it just felt good to have people paying attention to me. And icing on the top will be when someone comes to you later on and say,
I get on social media pretty often nowadays. To a point, it feels sad looking at social media. Because I feel as though I am stalking on my friends? Like, honestly, some of them I don't even talk to in real life. It's hilarious that a few times when I was back in KL, and I bump into friends whom I have not seen in years, but are my FB friends, we hardly know what to say to each other. But we get the instinct that we already know about each other's whereabouts and whatabouts. It's a sad reality, really. So sometimes to cure this loneliness, I watch YouTube. I do some house chores. I go for a run. I sleep. I play games on my phone.
I do chat with friends on the phone at times. But most of the people I know have their responsibilities. Work. Family. Children. etc.. I get annoyed when I message someone and it takes them more half a day to reply me. Sometimes it is even more annoying when they reply after 2 days. Really??!
Priority list of (insert friend's name)
1. Family
2. Work
3. ...
.
.
.
Eileen = definitely not on top.
I get it, I will disappear from your life. Just like how you will disappear from my FB list.
I sound sad. But it's just a rant. I feel better now 😒😒
It has been about half a year since I left the work force. I wanted to say since I left flying, but I have not flown for quite long due to safety trainings and academy duties, so it is more of like leaving an office job. And I do reminisce about my job some times.
Back then, I always had people around me. I'll say about 10-12 hours per day, I am surrounded by people. Be it trainees, colleagues, bosses, friends, I get to meet them about 5x in a work week. And when I get home and Boo is off, that will be say, another 3-4 hours of having a human companionship. You might wonder why is my working hour so long? I think I was just in love with what I was doing. And yes, more frequent than not, I am at the academy from 0645-1845.
But nowadays, it is not as easy to get that kind of companionships anymore. Sure, I meet some of my closer friends once a week or so (if I am lucky). And with them being in the aviation industry, it is not easy to find time when everyone is off at the same time. And if Boo is away on layover, it adds salt to the wound.
"Yeah, but you have your bunnies?"
That's true. But they can't talk. Sometimes you want someone to be able to correspond. Hugging and kissing is sorta one sided. They do sniff and lick me at times. But it's different.
It feels good to some times have some one complimenting me. Or looking up to me. Or just giving me attention. I know, it sounds so absurd like, "What? So basically all she wants is the world to revolve around her?" Actually, yes, it feels good to be given attention. Once in a while, we all need that earthy-hug.
When I was training, I had like at least 15 sets of eyes on me. Maybe some of them might not be interested in the topic I was teaching, but it just felt good to have people paying attention to me. And icing on the top will be when someone comes to you later on and say,
"Wow, you are a really good trainer."
"You make it so easy for us to understand."
"I really enjoyed your class."
"You make things make sense."
"I learnt something new today, thank you."
It wasn't my birthday. I was just being celebrated and thanked for a good training 😁😁
I get on social media pretty often nowadays. To a point, it feels sad looking at social media. Because I feel as though I am stalking on my friends? Like, honestly, some of them I don't even talk to in real life. It's hilarious that a few times when I was back in KL, and I bump into friends whom I have not seen in years, but are my FB friends, we hardly know what to say to each other. But we get the instinct that we already know about each other's whereabouts and whatabouts. It's a sad reality, really. So sometimes to cure this loneliness, I watch YouTube. I do some house chores. I go for a run. I sleep. I play games on my phone.
I do chat with friends on the phone at times. But most of the people I know have their responsibilities. Work. Family. Children. etc.. I get annoyed when I message someone and it takes them more half a day to reply me. Sometimes it is even more annoying when they reply after 2 days. Really??!
Priority list of (insert friend's name)
1. Family
2. Work
3. ...
.
.
.
Eileen = definitely not on top.
I get it, I will disappear from your life. Just like how you will disappear from my FB list.
I sound sad. But it's just a rant. I feel better now 😒😒
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